The Greatest Rebel fan I’ve ever known
The greatest Rebel fan I’ve ever known has never been to an Ole Miss game. She only visited Oxford twice in her life. She knew nothing about this town and its beauty, or it’s people and Rebel Nation. She asked questions like “What is a Hotty Toddy?” and “What colors are your team’s uniforms?”
She knew nothing about this place, but because of her, I found happiness at 908 All-American Drive.
GRANDMA’S LIFE
My grandmother was born on March 21st, 1933 in Southern Illinois. Born to an extremely poor family, she built her life around hard work and the love of family. Growing up, I remember hearing stories of hard times, great floods and of mere survival. While sometimes placed in chaotic situations as a child, I would reach for comfort in her arms as I transitioned from a child to a young man. As I got older, I began to cherish more and more the time spent with her, and it got to the point where in times of turmoil I would run to her for guidance and advice. Reality hit me several years ago, and I began to spend more time with my grandparents with the knowledge that one day they wouldn’t be around. Countless times I’ve drive 8 hours in a day to just say hello. It was worth it every time, despite the toll it took on me.
A BOY WHO FELT SAFE
Just like everyone, life isn’t perfect. Everyone has their stories of rough times in their life. I’m no different or special than anyone, anywhere. My story took the path it did and led me here, and I’m ok with that. I grew up seeing some things children should never see. I fought my way through financial issues in college, and when things finally took a turn for the better, contracted a virus that doctors initially thought was a devastating disease. Life wasn’t/hasn’t been easy, but the woman at 711 36th Street in Cairo, IL made it easy. Within those walls I felt safe, and because of that I am one of the fortunate ones. I felt free to be myself and talk openly about what I wanted and who I wanted to become. I spoke often about the man and father I wanted to become and the family I wanted to have, and my grandmother would listen and give advice. When it was discovered that I was going to come out of that “devastating disease”, she gave me the confidence and “OK” to leave my home, a great paying job, and the proximity to her. In fact she begged me to chase my dream and move away from her and to Ole Miss.
LIFE ISNT FAIR
On July 27th of last year, one half of my heart and soul went in for a surgery that while dangerous, generally resulted in positive outcomes. An incompetent surgeon botched the operation and refused to treat the situation in what many believe was spite. We were told behind closed doors that the hospital was sorry for what the surgeon had done. My grandmother spent the next two month and two days fighting an uphill battle that people half her age couldn’t survive. With grace, she thanked every nurse that entered the room. With dignity, she apologized for being a hassle. With a smile on her face she planned Christmas parties she knew she would never attend. She sat in a bed for 63 days in terrible pain and apologized for making me see her in that condition. All she asked of me was that I take care of my grandfather and baby girl until she got out of there. Deep down inside, I think she knew she was never leaving.
“We got ‘em!”
On September 20th, I visited her on one of her not-so-good days. The Ole Miss Rebels had just beaten Alabama. As soon as I entered the room, she placed her hand on my head and whispered, “We got ‘em.” I knew what she was talking about. Barely able to sleep or talk or eat, my grandmother watched an entire game she didn’t understand because she knew what it meant to me. “I looked and watched every play, but I just couldn’t see you.” This woman couldn’t tell the difference between an offensive lineman and a power forward on our basketball team, but her grandson was on that field and she was determined to watch the entire game and cheer on the Rebels.
On September 29th, my family and I made a decision that I am very proud of. We let my grandmother go rather than fight her pain. With it, the stability I’ve known my entire life was gone. Since then I’ve gone through a divorce, watched wonderful friends battle terrible demons, and have driven mile after mile to take care of my grandfather. I’ve had to do this without her. I’ve had to relearn how to live life in this world. I thank God everyday that she gave me the strength she did.
TODAY
Today is her birthday, and If not for what I get to hold in my arms today, I would be at the Mounds City National Cemetery with flowers and presents. The only thing that could keep me from that place today is the best gift she ever gave me. My beautiful daughter Tannalee was born on this same day two years ago. I know that was my grandmother’s doing.
Hotty Toddy to you Grandma! One half of my heart and soul will always be with you. The other half will be with your granddaughter with whom you share this great day. I am where I am because of you, and I thank you for making me a Rebel, both in life and in my career.
I’ll see you very soon, but right now I have to go eat cake with your beautiful great-granddaughter. I love you.
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